So lets see  if we can wrap this up. Since Im still alive that means I didnt pull the trigger.  But that didnt stop me from having those messed up thoughts. I was still living a mess up life a young drunk that liked listening to evil music. Lets fast forward a couple of years after highschool. Now Im going to give this testimony and its actually on my other blogsite http://hc4p.blogspot.com/ as well. This will go deeper in then me just having a reason to make music. I guess your probably how is his testimony going to explain why he does music but you will understand in the end.  
  
 I was struggling an addiction to alcohol i was a functioning drunk. I kept a job and would go to work but after that and especially on the weekends i would be so bent over and drunk, obnoxious, and out of order. I would be game to do anything but I didn't care to do other drugs I just love to drink. To enhance the feeling I would not eat my beer was my breakfast and cigarettes black and milds would cater to high as well. On the weekend I would wake up with a drink and go to sleep with a drink and that was from Friday to late Sunday night. 
  
I was so impaired at some times that I would do anything with any women regardless of look weight or height. Me and my boys would go and chill sometimes we got in trouble with the cops sometimes we got into confrontations with other people. In those days I was not afraid to die or kill someone. I remember I almost choked a guy to death for saying he was going to kill my baby before it was born. I remember getting in to beefs and people pulling out guns to shoot and I would still be walking up on them not being afraid if they were going to shoot to me. 
  
My homies had to pull me back like I was crazy or like I had a death wish. I use to wild out and do stupid things when I was under the influence. I had no limitations and so I would go beyond the limit physically and legally. I crashed a couple of vehicles and one crash was on a busy freeway and the only thing I hit was the wall and no other cars. I would say that I was living pretty ruthless and reckless at the time and thats why Im saying now that I should have been dead.  But God spared me and he had a plan for me and I began to see the light in the next part that I explain.